Buku baru.

Assalamualaikum.

Zil is back? Are you surprised?

Tak payah surprised sangat la. Told you I won't leave this blog mcm tu je

I grew up with this blog

Dari kecik lagi. Its been 6 years. Dari zaman friendster je zaman instagram yaw

Sebab dah lama sangat tak update, I wish you all the best la baca post yang maha panjang ni.

Hiks.

So....my latest post was 4 months ago.

Adalah kisahnya disebalik post emo tahap melampau tu

All I remember was I was too hurt, too angry that I don't even talk to people the whole day

I can feel the pain in my chest

Macam ada benda yang perlu dikeluarkan

I was angry

I was hurt

I didn't tweet for 2 weeks (sampai puasa tweet tau)

I privated my blog and tak berani bukak dah

until today,

lol it takes me 4 months lebih to recover

Teruknyewww merajuk!

Well well well. So, what happened to Zil dalam masa 4 bulan?

You have no idea :p

January 2014

I am still living my life happily dekat SMK Green Road yang terchenta with my favourite people

Life is easy.

(((Except the school part, except the addmaths part, except the whole SPM part))))

I just love my life in Green Road. I had everything.

I have my friends, my friends are my everything.

I have my mum, my mum is my everything.

I have my room, my room is my everything

Pendek kata, I am comfortable with my life at that particular time

which does not last

Ada plot twist sikit hahahaha

Macam ni cerita dia...

My friend, Amirullah tgh memuntahkan rasa (sesi luahan dari hati ke hati) tentang betapa takutnya dia nak masuk SBP. Dia dpt Sekolah Sains Johor. and I was like "You're going to be alright, benda ni Allah dah tetapkan so have faith. Everything happens for a reason tau tak" to him.

I have no idea that

at that particular time

I was offered to ________________ (you fill in the blanks urself lol)

tak terfikir pun. dah apply tapi takde hati langsung nak check

Tapi Allah gerakkan hati suruh check malam tu jugak

Okay, fine, okay. So I checked.

"Tahniah, Anak anda Zil Hayatul Arina Binti Mohd Razip 981027-13-XXXX telah ditawarkan ke _________"

I was like

I was like

I was like

WHAT?

and the first one to know is Amirullah. Sebab we were facing the same situation and all the advices I gave him I baca balik I was like oh my god what is this? hahahaha. But seriously though

I really don't know what to do

I was speechless

The suitable word here is takut

Aku cukup takut.

The next day, datang sekolah dgn mata kembang, I told Stephanie everything

Only Stephanie knows how much I cried masa tu

(oh you might be wondering, why do I cry so much? Because its zil we're talking about

She cries to almost everything hehehe)

Leaving my friends in Green Road is the last thing I want to do in my life

Petang lepastu baru I discuss with my parents.

Sebab I want to talk about that only when I am ready

dah ready lah kot

kot la

but... kun fa ya kun. Allah is the best planner after all kan?

So aku redha. I told myself that this is for my own good

Sakit mana pun, pahit mana pun, aku kena telan.

What hurts me the most is

I had to leave Steph on her worst days

Her mom meninggal time cuti hari tu. Cancer.

Lepas cuti, aku pulak tinggalkan dia duduk sorang2. Empty seat. Next to her.

I feel so bad. Do I really have to leave her in that condition?

February 2014

New school. Tutup buku lama bukak buku baru.

Everythings fine, Alhamdulillah. Semua orang baik. Juniors, Seniors, Cikgu, Cleaner, Makcik Canteen, alhamdulillah. Especially Bonda, pengetua yang mmg layan aku mcm anak dia sendiri,

Bersyukur.

I went to Kedah on the third week aku kat sekolah tu

Kursus Kepimpinan PRS.

And this is the best part kalau masuk SBP kat sarawak.

Apapa program SBP,

Korang akan dibawak ke semenanjung free of charge. Hehehe. MAS taw.

Kitorang stay kat Universiti Inn kat UUM Kedah.

Sumpah best.

Siap jumpa matlutfi lagi! (he is very tall. tak macam dalam video ek sekian)

Kursus ni zon utara je la. Campuq dengan sekolah Tun Syed, integrasi Gopeng, MCKK, STAR, semua sekolah kat zon utara la.

Best la kursus ni. Siap boleh tersangkut dgn sorang mamat STAR lagi. Ooops.

Hahahaha but serious though. Masa program outreach, we went to this school, SK Siputeh,

bagi taklimat kat diorang about SBP. Sebab rural areas kan? Kasi expose sikit la apa SBP apa semua.

This guy named Zulfarhan, orang lain semua panggil dia Paan tau. But dengan zil, nama dia tukar jadi zul.

Hahahaha masa tgh nak bagi taklimat kat budak budak sekolah rendah tu.. dia perkenalkan diri dia

"Assalamualaikum adik adik, nama abang Zul. Nama kakak sebelah ni Zil" and I was jajbjwlkjaalajksihdwkjebb gvakjahja kalau boleh nak tergolek kat situ jugak. Zul, kenapa comel sangat? Hahahahahhahahahaha kbai.

sampai sekarang kena bahan hahahaha ok zil ok

Hari berganti hari,

Minggu berganti minggu

Tipulah kalau cakap hidup tak susah kat sekolah baru

Undeniable.

Mengantuk dalam kelas

Taktau apa yang cikgu ajar sebenarnya

Hari hari assembly pagi petang siang malam.

Siapa tak penat?

The only thing yang buat aku kuat kat situ is...my friends

You have no idea how close are we, walaupun baru jumpa.

Semangat batch hahahahaha

One of my bestfriends there, Aryfah Binti Badrulzaman, dia bestfriend arwah Alya dulu.

And guess what? Ayah dia pun baru je meninggal. Imagine, ayah dia baru meninggal, dia kakak sulung, 7 hari lepastu dia terus masuk SBP. Choosing a difficult path. I have no idea how can a person be that strong.

And then ada this krek girl, Rabiatul Adawiyah. Semua orang panggil dia bieys.

I have no idea why. But three of us, we call ourselves kariots4lyf. why kariots?

Sebab Karyfah, Rabikari and Karina are bestfriends. Ada la satu hari ni, kitorang makan roti jala and ada la this tragic curry tragedi. Since hari tu kami jadi kariots. Hiks.

And baru last week aku balik dari KL. Ada kursus Ketua Pelajar.

Bonda mcm dah slowtalk dgn aku, dia kira nak kasi mandat KP perempuan kat aku.

Dia taknak kacau form 5 katanya

Dia nak pelapis katanya

Katanya.

Kursus tu kat KL ja.

Boleh tahan best jugak la kursus dia... but I still suka yg kat kedah haritu (sbb ada zul kot eh eh eh eh hahaha)

Dahlah terpaksa skip 6 papers. Org lain sibuk exam aku sibuk kursus.

Balik hari selasa, 10:30 malam.

Esok pagi rabu, terus exam Physics, Bio, Chemist

MEMANG TAK LA HAHAHAHHA

tapi betul la. Selasa malam tu aku memang nangis betul betul nangis.

Esok exam tiga paper racun

Belum study pape

LOL all I remember was aku duduk dalam gelap, tepi luggage, makan spaghetti dalam gelap (dah lights off dah)

aku menangis mkn spaghetti tu

because that is my mum's spaghetti.

Mama sempat jenguk aku kat airport sekejap haritu. siap bagi spaghetti tau

(I love you ma)

and I cried really hard that night

Belum lagi official jadi Ketua Pelajar

tapi pressure dia...........masyaAllah

I just can't.

and here I am, kat rumah, dengan kerja yang maha banyak tapi masih sempat update blog, LOL

Thanks cuti. Saaaaayang cuti.

Sekian, wassalam.

p/s: Deepest condolesence untuk family mangsa dan crew yang terlibat dalam tragedi MH370. They are lucky, sayang. Satu Malaysia is praying for them. Semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya, InsyaAllah. Keep praying.